Compassion Exercise - How to put yourself in someone else’s shoes

I heard of a fascinating writing assignment the other day. The students were instructed to conceive of a character and to imagine everything about him or her. They were instructed to know what brand of toothbrush the person used, to know how their relationships with their family were affected by their childhood, to know when they lie defensively to know their secrets. Then, the students were instructed to make a profile on a dating site for their character, and write a short story based on the people who wrote to their character. So, I think it’s a great way to write a character. I also think it’s questionably ethical/compassionate to populate dating sites with fake characters and write short stories based on the earnest people who write to them!

But, I do think the writing assignment, at least the first part, could have potential for helping us use our powers of imagination to create compassion. If someone is making us angry or upset, we tend to only concentrate on this extremely constricted view of their personhood. Instead, try to sit and do the same assignment. Try to imagine everything about them, write them up like a character. What led them to come to live where they do now? To act the way they did? What were the stories of their childhood?

It doesn’t necessarily matter if what you came up with is true in any way. You stopped concentrating on the singular thing the person did that angered or hurt you and created a more human version of them in your head.With some practice, we can imagine ourselves into some compassion.

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